Happy Valentine’s Day!

At our February Nursing and Beyond Meeting the mothers in attendence were asked to contribute a suggetion concerning our relationships with our partners and how to keep them strong. Here is the list we generated:

• Learn what actions show love to your partner; people feel loved in so many different ways.

• Involve yourself in your husband’s work life. Read his professional journals, visit his office, etc. Be part of his career, not just a romantic partner. Ask him questions and listen a lot.

• Make time for your spouse. You will get tired or have other things to do, but your spouse needs you. Sometimes, the other things can just wait.

• Sex does not (and probably should not) be limited to the bedroom!

• Verbalize your expectations instead of getting frustrated and upset because your wants aren’t met.

• Something I’m working on: Be kind!

• Let yourself get angry.

• Most conflicts are miscommunications. Take a deep breath, and try to understand his perspective. What does her really mean, regardless of what he is saying?

• Accept that the marriage or partnership you have today might look very different from the one you had in the beginning. Keep looking for new ways to connect with your partner and help him understand you.

Do you have a suggestion to add? Leave a comment and let us know your best bit of relationship advice.

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2 thoughts on “Happy Valentine’s Day!

  1. Love this topic. A date night alone without baby is needed once a week. Even if it is only for an hour. Having alone time and remembering you were a wife or lover first will help you work together as a team with less resentment.

    I also see partners sleep in separate rooms for the sake of the baby. Sleep together always.

    Spice up the sex life. Just because you are a mom now doesnt give you a free pass from being intimate. In fact, the dad may help out more when that need is fulfilled. This may need to be scheduled.

    Speak up for your needs. He can’t read your mind. He really does want to make you happy and letting him know you would appreciate something from him.

    1. I so look forward to date night! That first date out when baby is ready for a small separation is such an adventure. Before my babies were ready for separation we would go out to dinner when the baby would sleep in the sling. It was funny because it really felt like we were alone.

      I do have to say that sleeping in separate rooms really did work for us. We are back in the same room now but while my children were night nursing frequently I couldn’t sleep because my husband snores. Once we figured out that we could sleep in separate rooms and maintain a happy marriage we all were more rested. It also forced us to get creative about couple time 🙂 Whatever works best for the couple and family is what people should do – even if it looks unconventional.

      Speaking up for your needs is something that I continually need to work on. Open communication is so critical but not always easy 🙂

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